Names were changed to protect the innocent.

What you are about to read is entirely fictional. This is a work of pure fantasy. Wink wink, nudge nudge and all that. Also, thank you google 'define:'.
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1. Sex- The act of intercourse involving penetration or the act of intimate genital contact.

So, my neighbors are having sex. I can hear them. Not an act that's unusual for people- in fact, it's an enjoyable activity. Or so I've been told. Though this case is worth noting because of 1 simple fact. They are not very good at it...

2. Dancing- An act that takes a person who performs a sequence of steps, movements, and postures in rhythmic timing to music.

They say, the way you dance is the way you make love. Which would probably make me the worst lover imaginable. I for the most part, do not have a rhythm where music is even remotely involved...

3. Counting- To increment numbers in a set unit of measure or groupings.

But I can count, with some mild proficiency. If I need to do anything with 'rhythm' involved I learn a numeric pattern to it immediately. With games such as Jammer Lammie or dancing in musicals, all my actions were done at a recurring interval. Not so much as a musical beat but more of an immediate visual of a cosine or sine graph. My neighbors don't have either it seems...

4. Squeaking- A high pitched sound, such as a small rodent or rusty hinges.

Luckily, my neighbors aren't very loud when they have sex. There is the occasional moan here and there, though for the most part- the biggest focus is that they have a very squeaky bed. I assume it's either against the wall or it's a very old bed.

5. Length- In this case, continuance of time.

Unfortunately, it's erratic and also very short. So it's not even very admirable in a sense that could be quantified by time.

(Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak)
Pause.
(Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak)
Pause.
(Squeak)
Pause.
(Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak) (Squeak)
Pause.
(Squeak) (Squeak)
Pause.
(Squeak)
Pause.
(Squeak) (Squeak)
Silence.